Friday, December 25, 2009

Friday, October 16, 2009

love and pain come in a package

"Pain and pleasure, like light and darkness, succeed each other." - Laurence Sterne

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain!"

Jim Morrison

“Why love if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore; only the life I have lived. The pain now is part of the happiness then.”

Anthony Hopkins

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.”

Paulo Coelho

“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain”

William Faulkner

“When thought becomes excessively painful, action is the finest remedy”

Salman Rushdie

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love..
Mother Teresa

open my eyes

i personally think that it is better to have an open relationship nowadays for people my age (17-21). perhaps because commitment kills us. being committed to a particular person (ur boyfriend or girlfriend) is not always means happiness, it brings sadness and fights and issues and sorta stuff u have in a relationship too.
what i mean is that we need to open up ourselves for a bigger better world outside. adventure in life! sometimes i see my friends who spent 80% of their time with their bf/gf and think that they don't need to socialize with friends. they dont care 'as long as i got u, babe'. hey have u ever heard that nothing lasts forever?
i would not leave my friends for a boyfriend, but sometimes i gotta choose, or manage my time for them wisely. cause both need special attentions and i care for both my friends and my boyfriend. when my friends break up, when they got kicked out from home, when they are in troubles, i want to be there for them. after all, ur loved ones are always there for u whenever u needed them.. so why don't treat them the same way?
these days are rough times, and i couldn't really share it with them. so i thought i would share it here with you, strangers :p my love life.
i'm in an open relationship. by this i mean, we're good friends but we love and care for each other madly and deeply, but we know we couldn't go any further than our 'it's complicated' status. main factors are family and other external issues. actually i am doing okay with that, cause i plan to continue my study abroad after i get my degree here and i am not an LDR kind of person.
recently we got some issues. and i don't know if i can handle it..
to be honest,i like him like A LOT and it is kinda hard for me to let go.
my friends don't really approve me being with this particular guy, and this guy doesn't really like my best friends either. they just can't get along well, nothing personal.
things have changed between me and my guy. we don't know if it's gonna be temporary and things will get back to normal, or it will be like this from now on..
time will tell.
and time heals everything..
i'll just go with the flow and see where do we go..
in the meantime
let's enjoy life
making friends, live life to the fullest, give love, share happiness,
see the world!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

hari ini semuanya berjalan dengan sangat menyenangkan. every single thing went as smooth as i planned and i was happy all day long. well i could say that it doesnt happen actually everyday in my life, days like this are special days :)

i am happy for many reasons in life.

my first week of university life turns out to be so much more than fun. yes, it is also a bit tiring, but whoever is in my position right now would definitely agree with me, it was FUN!
i met new friends, new lecturers, learn new stuffs, join clubs :) :) :) it's like im being so excited i almost forgot that there are responsibilities come with it. such as doing assignments, assessments, mid, finals. ughhh.. but i'll deal with that later. no worries. i am a Bob Marley believer. lols
my favorite classes so far are intro to PR, intro to marketing, and philosophy science. havent decide who's gonna be my favorite lecturer, though :)

having new friends is interesting. you know, they all have different characters, different backgrounds, etc. when i was in college in Malaysia last year, students from Indonesia hang out with another Indonesian and the other students are also tend to hang out with their own clique. so there are groups of students, such as indian students, chinese, korean, iranian, local, etc. but here - in my new campus in Jakarta, the atmosphere is a bit different.
seems like we are all friends and related. which is a good thing! yes we do pass smiles to each others on the hall, canteens, lobby, parking area. sometimes even a wave or a short convo.
do we really know each other? i mean i smiled to a girl/guy, ask his/her name, which class are you in, blah blah.. five minutes later, i could forgot most of it. that's how it goes here i think. and the most funny part is that people i contacted through facebook are usually look different in person. we could have talked so much in fb, but i just didnt recognize the face when i actually saw 'em.
haha xD
that was when i came to realize that anything from cyber world is actually unreal unless you had actually meet a person in person. so better be careful i guess. hehe..

oh and there are a few quotes i did note down during the lecture. i'll post it real soon :)

all in all, this week was amazingly fun!


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

IF i were a boy

just watched a video of Letterman Show : if Britney were the president of the country. it was a funny one though! then i played the song If I Were A Boy by Beyonce in my iTouch.. it gets me thinking.. If I were a BOY.. what would I do? would it be any difference in the way i think/act? is gender really does matter?

well i made a list of 10 things i would do IF suddenly i turned into a boy by any possible possibilities out there! so here it goes..

1. I would smoke weed then run on the street naked, people care less if it's a guy whose running naked, if it's a girl, people would react differently (trust me)

2. Throw pebbles to my girl's window, without breaking it, and sing the most unromantic love song ever.

3. Definitely date Blake Lively.

4. Hit Vegas with my guys!! Woot! What could be more fun than that?!

5. Drink 3 can of cokes then eat 3 triple cheeseburger. Guys can't get fat, can they? Most guys i do know dont get fat.

6. Play those games i could never understand : DOTA, CS, RF etc. I know for some guys it is even more important than girl, isn't it guys?

7. Pee! from a different kinda thing, u know, sorta curious.

8. Get in a bar fight, and win.

9. Get married. Is it that insufferable?

10. I would not take a bath for days. just sleeping and slacking around. what a life!

What would YOU do if you, by any chance, turn into a guy/girl?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

my ubercool other blog!

it's about my passion to travel around the world!
feel free to check it out and leave some comments.
lotsa love and kisses

:) :) :)

Sunday, August 9, 2009


been very busy recently. sounds weird, eh? but my holiday was filled with meeting friends, lunch with A and B, dinner with C and D, blahblahblah. And there was a birthday bash last weekend : my birthday bash! hehehe.. i just turned 18, three more years to hit Vegas. now that's motivating cause i went to Vegas but i can't play or go to clubs cause all of 'em are for people over 21. what's so special being 21?? i am yet to find out haha. so.. this week i hope it will be more time to have fun and less time to prepare for my university life. i've had my orientation last tuesday and in one words : it was so much fun! perhaps the best orientation i've ever had :)
my new friends were nice and friendly (supposedly yes cause we are all communications student :D)
i got into the Teatro group with another 19 freshmen. at first, we didnt talk much. but after a few minutes, we really blend in! our kakak were last year Mr. LSPR and this year Ms. LSPR, they helped us a lot during the orientation. we got to perform at the end of the day and my group came up with a bizzare idea of Mbah Surip (may his beautiful soul rest in peace) and Harry Potter parody. we didnt practice so it all happened spontaneously on stage! i, as the producer and narrator, want to say once again : bravo to all my friends who performed really good that evening.. and suprisingly... we WON the first place! thank God :)the other group also performed at their best that evening. all performances from the other groups was extremely creative and successfully made it an enjoyable show!
as on my birthday, it was even more blast this year. spent the whole night with my lovely and adorable fellas from SMAN 78. no one got drunk, but it was crazy that night i could say. hahaha. we laughed, sang, and talked loudly and we even scream in the middle of the night. we played fireworks just like the way we do on new year's eve. haha.. sorry neighbors, please understand ;)thanks to all my 78 friends who came and also to those who didnt. i just wanna tell you that 'i love you full' all and i will miss our crazy-happy-difficult-struggle-rebel times together! especially the skipping class part. LOL..
oh how we would miss those days so bad!